Hi again, and welcome to part 4 of my blog on my use of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in my practice!
Today’s subject is a bit of a shift in gears from therapeutic change to talking about the direction for that change. We’ve talked about acceptance of emotions, looking at your thoughts, and mindfulness, but we haven’t really touched on when, where, or why to use those things as much. It’s your values that determine your direction.
As you might have expected, we are going to take a moment to define what values are. A quick Google search gives you examples like “the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something” or “a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life”. That probably matches your concept of a value right? It’s something that is important to you?
I would argue that a value is more than that. I look at a value as something that, is not only important, but is also something you strive towards and cannot perfectly achieve. Money, or fame, for example are not values. They are things that you can have which may or may not be related to what you value. I recently attended a training by famed ACT therapist D. J. Moran, Ph.D., BCBA-D, who said a value is like going west. You can go west all you want, but you can never reach “West”. You just keep going. If you start in Alaska and go west you will eventually end up right back in Alaska. Applying that to real life, a value could be something like “being a great parent” or “living a harmonious life”. You can be a great parent, but it’s a lifelong journey that doesn’t end until you die.
Your values guide the direction of therapy. Some people come in expecting to get told advice on exactly what to do, but that isn’t my approach. You are an individual and your entire life experiences are perfectly unique to you. Your values determine your goals for therapy. I can teach you to be mindful all day, but it only matters if you use that skill to follow a value that’s meaningful to you.
When you find yourself lost and not sure where to go, it’s time to find the difference between your life as it is and your values so you know what needs to change. From there you make the change. That’s a subject for my next, and final, post on ACT. See you soon.
-Travis